Plain Truth

If I was a celebrity, I would be "intensely private." It's taken me a while to realize that I'm not anti-social or generally shy. I am just picky with who I let in and once they are in, I am reluctant to tell them much about who I really am. Being a Gemini, it's very easy for me to seem a certain way, when really I am the opposite of what I project. The people I let into my life are hand picked from this world and they are special and intelligent. Life is so short and I have endless amounts of love but I need make sure it goes to worthy people who do good with it. So no, I'm definitely not anti-social. I just know myself so well that I only need a few people to make my life feel complete. And that's the plain truth.

I like my shy side better.

I am a mother and I have one friend who parents her child to my standards, other than my own mother, she is my only "Mom-friend." I feel I am strange, if I go to meet other moms I will have to fake a personality because I am unconventional and quite odd. I am outgoing with one side of myself but I am a Gemini and have another, much shyer side and I wish with my entire being that people knew that side of me. I like my shy side better. My shy side is a great singer, and no one knows because I'm too shy to sing for anyone other than my baby. My shy side is also anxious and unsure of every decision I have to make. When I finally make a decision, chances are I have agonized for days about all the things I might feel about my choice. Now I can't even decide if I should publish this...

Clarity

Why is it that older generations frown upon the fact that I am twenty two and an unwed mother? I would like to make something very clear to those Delta Bravo's who believe my son was a "pleasant surprise."

WE, as in myself and my husband to be (July. 20, 2012 baby!) planned for our child and had talked about having children for a few years before taking action-quite literally. What better time for us to have a child? We haven't amassed much debt, we are young, healthy and have lots of energy. Why, old grumpy cows, would I want to wait until I'm older to have kids? I pondered this for so long before deciding to become a parent. What is so much better about starting a family when I'm older. I know, from dealing with a few morons, that wisdom doesn't come with age. I have yet to figure out where wisdom comes from, but you don't wiser when you get wrinkles. I based my decision on the age of my soul, my life experiences, my education and my goals. I believe that however you enter this world, that will be the path your life takes. If you are a chaotic surprise to your parents, your life might just be a bit unorganized and full of surprises that you hadn't planned for but love anyway. My child came into this world with a bunch of people waiting to love him, and everything was planned...down to what color my toes were painted during labor. So take that thundercunts. I will gladly find you a phonebook so that you can dial someone who cares. 

Is there a full moon tonight?

If this day had gotten any stranger I would have to assume I entered the twilight zone, somehow I have managed to escape unharmed! I attended a "melaleuca party" slash a bunch of snotbag housewives trying to scare me into buying all natural products by saying things like "poison disguised as laundry detergent!" Seriously? Fuck right off ladies because my mother used mr. goddam clean my entire life and not only am I a-o-k, but the child I have is fan-fucking-tastic too. There are few things more hilarious than rich people trying to pull into their world, as if it is superior to your middle class life. I am all for being eco-friendly and using products that are safe for children to be around but I don't need to be scared into like you. I was fully aware that poison isn't safe for my baby before you tried your fear tactics on me. I'm just sorry I couldn't be the one to break the truth to you. I would have been much wittier than Melaleuca's spokesman. This shit went on until about 4 in the afternoon, I then made up an awesome lie and got the fuck out. That's a weird day by my standards, but then I received a phone call from Sabina. I do not know Sabina. Sabina asks for me and then proceeds to ask me how my day went. After we talk for a few minutes I ask her how I know her. Apparently Sabina and I work together at Merle Norman! Someone with my name gave Sabina my number and tried to pass it off as her own. What I would like to know is what Merle Norman my name twin works at, and if I can get her discount? Because that would make this day rad.

NightOwl Reasoning

You will only ever find a new post from me during the wee hours of the night. I have always been a nighttime kinda gal, it's always quiet and I get a lot of thinking done. At the end of the day I usually reflect on things that felt like I heard them but really went in one ear and got lost. I seem to be surrounded by intelligent people ninety nine percent of the time, but then a real stupid one comes along and ironically enough, that will be the one that gets me thinking. What makes people do the things they do? I surely cannot be the only person who lies in bed at night and wonders how my day could have gone differently, can I? I have realized that there are some humans who are lacking in the department of self reflection, upon learning this, I also realized those people can just be removed from my world, because I really don't have time for that close-minded kind of bullshit in my life. For a chunk of my twenty two years on this planet I wondered what I could have done differently to make it so certain people hadn't treated me the way they had. As I have gotten older, those thoughts have changed to "what in the firey fuck is wrong with your head that you think your behavior is acceptable?" While I know this might be a harsh swing in my opinion, it's the most liberating change I have made in my thoughts to date.

And the palm sweat begins.

 I have always been a writer. My grandmother was a writer. I was thinking today about starting a blog, just to share things with the world. Maybe I will make someone laugh today, people generally laugh at the ridiculous shit that comes flying from between my lips. But then I felt apprehension. What if my grammar isn't proper and I don't notice and then I publish my blog post and someone sees a stupid mistake and then thinks I'm stupid too?  I have always been afraid of what others think so this blog represents my fear of being judged. The fact that when I am done typing I am going to click "publish post" is making my palms sweat. While my palms sweat and I read over this post 4 times to try and see what needs fixing, I remember my granny. She couldn't have cared less what people of her, she was a free spirit and a foul-mouthed old woman, so today, I am going to try and be like June Franklin and not give a fuck what you think.